Conversation Masters Prints

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

The Art of Bantering!

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

'Why am I feeling like this..?'

"She can be outspoken."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never, ever be applied in the boudoir.

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

Sylvia helped Robert to edit one of his memos.

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

'All those in favor of looking at pictures of grandchildren before we start bitching about their parents, say aye.'

"Darling, I realised that you didn't like your dinner by the third sheet."

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"She's a Democrat and he's a Republican so refrain from political talk if you want access to the hors d'oevres."

'Please don't interrupt when I'm about to speak Neville!'

'She doesn't just hold a conversation, she strangles it.'

Man with landline phone coming out of his head.

Chatterbox Podium

Uriah persists in hovering near us, at the dinner-party

'Andy, you can be honest with me. Do you think I'd make a good manager?' - 'Why couldn't she just ask me if I like her hairstyle.'

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

"I'm not doing this if you're just coming keep disagreeing with me."

Women: 'I'm gald we had this talk', Men: 'I'm glad we had this fight'

"Okaaay, so 'maybe' I don't 'understand' how air quotes 'work.'"

"I'd like to buy everyone a drink. All I ask in return is that you listen patiently to my shallow and simplistic views on a broad range of social and political issues."