Conversation Critique T-Shirts

But, enough about me...

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Could I ask just one question?"

So you're a mocking bird...

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"He gets easily abstracted."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.