Contradiction Theorist T-Shirts

'For every consultant there's an equal and opposite consultant.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Protest

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"No aliens"

Burning the Other

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

Guru Shifted Thinking

New Capitalism

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Speaker and crowd 'Think for yourself!', 'MAKE me!'

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

'When you said you're a contrarian, I just assumed you meant your investment style, Mr. Kobenz.'

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'