Contractual Trickster T-Shirts

Contract Mouse Trap

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Famous Optical Illusions!

In and Out Box

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Mime Tug-of-War

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

Snowman Magic

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

'Sometimes the walls move...'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

Hand Rabbit

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

Perspective Repair

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

'Say when.'

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

We, the jury, spy, with our little eye, someone

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'Thirty days or thirty dollars? -- Let's see the money first!'

'We the jury find the defendant guilty on the first count, kinda sorta guilty on the second, and guilty as hell on the third.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'