Contractual Analyst Prints

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"I meant the dog!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

The Likeable Torturer

Don't forget to read the small print.

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"We re cutting back on overhead."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"Don't think of yourself as just another small cog in a vast bureaucratic machine.. but rather as a quite important cost centre."

"But if I'm not a senior collateral analyst for a high-volume, global marketing corporation...who am I?"

Rebel without an escape clause

'I've saved a bundle on cubicles. I only hire mimes who do that invisible wall thing.'

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

"Your NDA prohibits you from talking about my tendency to bark."

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

Ask about the incentive plan - Miss one payment and we take you to court.