Contract Guru Pillows

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

"A high-five isn't binding, sir. You still have to sign a loan agreement."

"I don't want to make a rookie mistake, so do I sign my contract with an X or an O?"

'Hold on a second. This is a simple contract problem. We're lawyers. Couldn't we just bury it in fine print?'

"You'll like this work contract. . . It says so in the third clause."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

The Devil's in the detail!

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."