Contract Decipherer Mugs

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

Great, I need to use the mobile phone to ring for help to understand the contract so I can buy the phone.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

IKEA Book

'Okay. Now. Insert Part K into slot G...'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

After work, of course, they'd relax and talk deconstruction. Isn't a blueprint just a series of markings with no meaning by themselves? Our job, as I see it, is to find the true essence of the materials.

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

"It doesn't bother me so much since he signed that NDA."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

Europe and TTIP

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Shipping contract.

"Now, if you'll just sign right here, Mr. Hark, you'll make the biggest mistake of your life!"

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

"Oh, don't worry about that, it's just the grey area ..."

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."

'That all sounds like waffle and legalese.'

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

'I love the message, but the art leaves me cold blooded!'

'His paintings always have a message.'

'Beetles...I heard if you listen to their songs backwards, there are cryptic messages.'

"More misinformation."

'This is a rip-off!'

You didn't tell me how dangerous this job is! It's right in your contract, "guaranteed hospitalization."