Contract Critique Champ Pillows

'That all sounds like waffle and legalese.'

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

Corporate Lawyers

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'Doctor, you're on the edge of violating your non-compete.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

'The contract is very clear. You're free to go once the project's completed.'