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America's Next Top Baby

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Cockroaches struggle to use the ski lift.

Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Trump commissions song

"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

Dancing with the Star Wars

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Donut Eating Contest

Your big moment on Altra Gameshow

Dancing with the Stars

The Apprentice

"It's from that Alastair Cooke again"

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

These guys are going to have some kind of contest. (Musical note.) Let's see who sings the best. (Question mark.) No. Let's play "Jeopardy." All answers must be in the form of a question. (Exclamation point.) Whatever we do, I'll be the most enthusiastic!! (Ampersand.) Can we form partnerships? (Dollar sign.) Is there any prize money? (Percentage symbol.) What are the chances of winning? (Asterisk.) Winning's not that important. With me here, winning will be marked as not wholly

'International Poodle Contest.'

"Delphine has been interviewed for, and accepted by, 'Survivor.' "

'Dancing with the Stars' judges

"Congratulations! Your essay on isolation and despair has won our desert-island-getaway competition."

"When you said you were going to look at the figures I didn't know you were going to watch a bikini contest."

Last Place in Swimming Contest

'It looks like you're a winner.'

Miss Diagnosed a female pageant winner for being the worst misdiagnosed entrant.

Winners of the math contest for Dyscalculics

"The good news is you've won a date with a sexy film star, the bad news is..."

'You won twenty dollars in a contest? Why, that's chicken feed!'

It says "You may already be a winner --- But don't burn any bridges".