Contemporary Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Bread crumbs? Didn't Hansel and Gretel have GPS on their phones?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Do Not Resuscitate

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Skiing.

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Dog Walking Services

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Cariactures