Contemporary Art Fans Prints

Tracey Emin's work My Bed, alongside Marcel Duchamp's urinal (titled Fountain). Duchamp referred to his works as 'readymades'. Emin's work is 'unmade'.

"Ooh, look – a Porsche Panamera."

'He lives under the illusion that Charles Saatchi is going to barge in here someday and buy everything.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"You're welcome."

Klimt Kiss Phones

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Pharaoh Cocoon

Cats at private view

Giant Monster in Bath

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

The Cremaster Cycle

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"