Consumerist Critic T-Shirts

'Do you think children are growing up too fast?' 'Yes Mummy.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Made in China

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

The economy doctor

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

"I proclaim this sun-drenched tropical country a new tourist mecca, in the names of Consolidated Airways and the Peck & Smathers Advertising and Public Relations Company."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

Too Much Plastic.

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

"It's just not the same."

desert isle shopping trolley...

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Well, of course you're having an identity crisis - your T-shirt has no logo.'

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"Too film noir?"

"'Take that,' growled the writer as the buyer for Borders slumped to the ..."

Gimme a latte, geek. In a sec. I'm watching the end of a tv show on my new cellphone. Look out, Jack! Didn't you just buy a 50-inch plasma?! Is that a man or a tree?

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."