Consumer Rights Gifts

Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'Nice try but, if your Mum wants a refund, she'll have to claim it herself.'

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

Do you sell insurance against getting ripped off by insurance companies?

"If it's got a lifetime guarantee why are you trying to sell me an extended warranty?"

Boycott the Olympics.

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Contaminated eggs? No problem at all!

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'Just before we discuss your eligibility for a refund, are you absolutely sure that you read all the fine-print?'

"This suit is more of a European cut."

'This call is to inform you of a special offer and to let you know that being placed on the DO NOT CALL list doesn't work.'

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

'When I bought him, they told me that he was already fully grown!'

Consumer Protection

"How come in your TV adverts you're giving out loans left, right and centre?!"

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

"It's in the original clamshell packaging...I couldn't open it in the first place!"

'If Madam would like to step this way we will sign you up for your new store card.'

'Please don't go! We're dropping the debit card fee, look here's your five bucks back.'

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

Consumer watch dog.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Consumer protection

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

"We'll take $10 off the monthly charge, but we reserve the right to slip it back in when you're not looking."

"Our boycotts are saving us a ton of money."

Disclaimers

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"