Consumer Electronics Specialist Prints

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

'I know it's a nuisance, but they came as part of the home cinema package.'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'Super size me!!'

"I upgrade then it's obsolete and I have to upgrade again! As soon as I upgrade I have to upgrade again! Upgrade! Upgrade!! Always upgrade!!"

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

'In ancient times they needed these to watch TV!'

"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."

Flat screen TVs and 3D TVs.

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."

'In our advanced technology course, we teach you how to use the latest in consumer products no matter how fast they come out.'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

Service plan 24-7

Consumer care and technologies

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

"I've managed to get hold of one of those 'all for one ad one for all' remote controls."

'Don't worry...the built in obsolescence will kick in before your child has a chance to break it.'

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