Construction Professional T-Shirts

'The Miracles of Suspension.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Hollywood Sign Developers

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Pipe Dream.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba