Construction Comic Pillows

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

'Mind if we hum along?'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Private work adjustments

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.