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Quote du Jour

The Anti-Agent

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Bermuda Triangles

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Alien Assumption

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Walt Disney on ice."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

The Da Vinci Cod

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Gremlins 47

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Legalish

The evidence destroyed

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."