Consistent Disciplinarian T-Shirts

"Mommy is going to stay 'On Message'. 'No'"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't even think about it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Mom Umpires

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Leaves.

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

Discipline at Doggy School

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"Worms."

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

Give a dog a bad name.....

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

'Aren't I entitled to a public defender?'