Considering Nursing Home Options Pillows

"When your mother starts usin electric eels to boil the jug it's time to consider alternative arrangements."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Senior Jeopardy!

'Next!'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'Come die with me.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

Remembering His Marbles

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Home for the elderly

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

The Old Elves Home

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."