Consequence Philosopher T-Shirts

"I love taking risks... it's all the consequences I can't handle."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"They're very time-sensitive."

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

Time = $. Time > $.

Teddy! Time for dinner!! I'm doing an essay on values. I need examples of oppressive values that hold people down. Sit! This hour is non-negotiable. Got it! Family values!

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

Reception - "Do you want to continue to 'hold' or do you want to call back later and 'hold'?"

"You should have voted 4 Kamala"

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

The New Philosophy Sitcom: Sartre Trek, Boldly Going Nowhere.

"But, in the end, you will become bored with that, too."

Madam Zelta foresees all.

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

Good fences are more comfortable for gossiping.

Dream Analysis

"His grass really is greener!"

'Of course, the worst may never happen. There is always that chance.'

"Hit 'em right after they won the lottery."

Dice with death.

Political Science Fiction.