Conscious Driver Pillows

"In spirit I'm an environmentalist. I love my SUV but I do my best to feel as guilty as possible when I drive it."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Exit Next Left

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Turmoil change.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'God's speed.'

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"