Connector Connoisseur Mugs

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

A Highly Networked Staff

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

Bagging the Chipmunk

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'Slow Connection'

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"We were unable to release his grip on the smart phone."

How to Avoid Tears when Peeling Onions

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

Vladimir Ashkenazy

In need of a wash...

'I ordered it from the catalog.'

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

Online dating: How big is your dongle?

Anti-Litter Machine

'I hated our island vacation - everything was beautiful, but I had no cell service.'

How the Apocrypha Came to Be

"Pick any three items and they're yours"