Connection Critiquers T-Shirts

"I think it is who you know and I know you.''

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'We don't need helicopter vision, Manfred. We need a helicopter.'

"He's a mental-health critic."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

Even though we have to keep our distance...

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

Puzzle Family

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

Lovers greeting each other

'Male and Female He created them.'

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?