Confusion Navigator Prints

'Ghah. They've moved everything round again.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Department of Nanotechnology

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

Man at door of Think Tank sees signs Closed Now a Thought Tank.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

A Higgs Bosun

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

Joke traffic signs.

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

'Life, like lunch, is full of difficult choices.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"