Conflict Resolution Gifts

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this legal strategy.'

"When you say, 'It's all good' what you really mean is, 'I don't care'."

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

Jerkins and I worked it out. He can have the office with the window.'

'I'm going to train you to 'Confront Difficult People'... okay, raise your hands if you're a difficult person.'

'As team-building exercises go I've seen worse.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd encourage a more conciliatory approach to conflict management."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

'Aren't you glad we had this meeting to resolve our conflict?'

'A good negotiator can stand back and gain perspective.'

'And when all else fails...'

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Men Working Things Out

'We'll save a fortune in employment tribunals.'

"At some point we'll sit down and resolve our differences, but for now the plan is to continue exchanging bitchy emails."

"Maybe you ought to consider making love in the morning - before you have a chance to piss each other off."

'That's your best advice? Play nice.'

"I admire Nesby because his agendas are never hidden."

'You idiots. When I said settle it like men, I didn't mean real men.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Jack, can you prove that Harrison stabbed you in the back?'

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

When mediation failed, they tried meditation.

Donkey Fights