Conflict Ponderer T-Shirts

'What a nightmare! I dreamed that the world had one-hundred years of peace!'

'Wait a minute - I thought you were the enemies of peace and liberty, oppressors of the common man and godless servants of injustice.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

"Needs to get a life"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Max Weber

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Artist chained to his drawing.

The Politics of Food.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"

"How long has he been missing?"