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'Thank you for not mentioning me by name.'

"So you don't know who Carolina is?"

'I feel guilty, I left my shopping cart by my car today, instead of putting it in the cart corral, , , At least when we die, we'll go to the same place,'

'I had to marry her... she was after my money.'

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

Priest's 'To do' list.

True confessions.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

Tongue in the ear...

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Confession Ratings.

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

True confession

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

Lovers' Leap