Conference Charmer Pillows

"Of all the conferences in all the world you have to walk into mine"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

Acme Toys Ltd

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'And in conclusion.'

'Do you come here often?'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Psychiatric convention"

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."