Conditioner Connoisseur Mugs

'What are you complaining about? You washed it, it went.'

Today's Rapunzel

Bookworm Sleepover

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Dog Walker

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Shaved Ice

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

Sculptor's chippings

S**t Threw a Goose

Second aid

Larry was always invited on camping trips because of his ice chest

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Satis Factory Tour

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

The air conditioning in here isn't working very well. Why don't we keep cool by undressing each other with our eyes? ?

"You're stealing the blanket."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's