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'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Atomic Bear: Part 22

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

Atomic Bear: Part 14

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

Fearless Frog Part 12

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'