Computer Sales Representatives T-Shirts

"You're the perfect customer and I'm the perfect salesman. A match made in heaven."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"You're never home."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Brick Salesman

'I knew I shouldn't have shown a pie chart so close to lunch.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

'Trevor was the first rep at the office to have a portable computer.'

Corporate Darwinism

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

Landing That Tough Account

The manufacturer tried giving the virtual assistant a male voice...but it never listened to a thing you said and forgot anniversaries and birthdays."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Fresh off the boat and dazed by the tropical sun, Bert falls prey to the sales-rep devouring Giant Mushroom of Indonesia.

"How about moving in a little closer?"

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'