Compounding Connoisseur Prints

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

Felix Mendelssohn

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Too much concealer?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Moliere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

C Day Lewis.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

Anton Bruckner.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

The Mayo Clinic

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

Dmitri Shostakovich

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"Needs ketchup."

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.