Complaint Enthusiast T-Shirts

'But if we were both happy, what would we have to talk about?'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"My feet are killing me."

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

Drop your health insurance complaint through slot.

All You Can Complain, $4.95

'Nobody told me that I had to buy something before I could complain about it. That's what I want to complain about.'

'If you think the elevator ride was rough, wait till the office Christmas party.'

JOE'S BAR, LIQUOR, BEER AND WHINE, 'Joe's good at listening to complaints.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Moanathon.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'