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"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

COWS: Cow Pong

Fishing Boat Derby

A skier and a paraglider

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

"This is it, everybody. Jack and Harriet Schroeder sing Harold Arlem."

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Rugby Mad.

The pop-up book of fighters

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'Apparently the poor love's walkman is broken.'

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

Eight puns

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

Obedience School Spelling Bee

"This new guy's really good!"

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Builders fighting over projects.

Intramission

Bismark Ballet School

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'