Company Workshop Pillows

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"We only got six days of funding."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"Lovely dovetail."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."