Community Theater Actor T-Shirts

"Our bad cop called in sick, so today we're going with good cop/bad community theater actor."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

Cut!

Theatre Masks and Butts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Joan Hickson

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

Taking a peek at the audience

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Jack Gleeson

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'