Communication Theorist T-Shirts

"Where's the send button?"

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

The Love Psychologists

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

'My market doesn't understand me.'

Relationship Issues.

'He says he needs his own space.'