Communication Mishaps Fan Prints

'Actually, Mrs. Jenkins, I said to hold my calls!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

'Mr. Dobson, you don't have to dictate into the intercom, I'm sitting in the room with you.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

"At some point we'll sit down and resolve our differences, but for now the plan is to continue exchanging bitchy emails."

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

Ringing horn

If pharmacists spoke like doctors wrote.

Client speaking to a legal advisor

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

'No - I've been mis-sold PIP implants.'

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

"You fool! I said pillage! Pillage and burn!"

'Murder? No, you've dialled L for Liposuction by mistake.'

"Sorry about pocket dialing you last night... And then pocket texting, and then pocket emailing, and then pocket leaving angry voicemails, and then..."

"Yes, this is Mr. Potus ...no, not the President of the United States."

"Who the hell is Sue?!"

Island and man

"First of all, I said 'We are going to plunder'."

Society for Asking Stupid Questions