Communication Chaos Prints

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'How fast can you hype?'

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

Antler Buzzers.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

Aluminium Henge

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"