Communication Breakdown Survivor Pillows

"Everything I say goes straight to voice mail."

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Oh no! You, again?"

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Some emails just can't be ignored.

Days of Christmas.

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

"I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress."

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

"I think I see your problem."

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

'Your Dell went to hell.'

'This was my favorite song back when I had feelings.'

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."