Commitment Phobe Interpreter T-Shirts

'It's full of all sorts of complex exclusions and 'get out' clauses.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.