Commercial Crusher Pillows

'Oh Dear! I see the commercial that Ed hates so much came on again, for the last time on our TV!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Let me stop you right there. Look, you're paid to keep the competition out of our territory. I don't need to hear all the grizzly details."

'Making a profit was a lot easier before so many countries abandoned socialism and started competing!'

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'Well, we made it.'

'The driving on that game is simulated, but the road rage is real.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"Cough cough"

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

"It's make it or break it time. All in favor of breaking it?"

Nose Spray.

"How's your blogging going?"

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

Exercise for fat people.

'I've never met a salesperson I didn't like... except, of course, for you people.'

"My life is one unending pop-up ad."

"Can you give me about 5 minutes? I'm about to beat this level!"

"I just gave her 100 Candy Crush lives so she won't be seeing anybody for a while."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. But in your case, another man's trash is ow your trash."

"Don't grind your teeth. That's my job."

"No, you can't be anything you want when you grow up. You're a moose."

'Sorry, Alexander just has to be top at everything!'