Commandment Comedians Prints

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He does.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'I'm just not keen.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'It's not company policy but how about starting on some performance enhancing drugs?'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

'Is this a trick question?'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'