Comically Disgruntled T-Shirts

'I hate my life.

Flyfishing for dummies.

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Broken since March

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"My mouse is running from me. Apparently, he's tired of me slamming him down when I get frustrated with my computer. I even apologised."

Music Quiz

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Desktop Print Hell: '...an eternity of different printers and no windows driver...'

A military officer daydreams

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

Use Next Window.

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

Twisted Peel has a bout of road rage.

New Listings From Frustration House.

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

Complain to a bear

"The exposed brick wall is the perfect place to bang your head after a long day at the office."

How was your oatmeal, Sadie? Is everything good? Can I get you anything else? Wait a second, what's that flapping? Somebody, run to the window and tell me if you see a pack of hogs flying by! Has the sky fallen? Has hell frozen over? Has the sun risen in the west? Have chickens grown teeth? Has a donkey climbed a tree? This is the first time in 16 years that you've bothered to ask me how my meal's going, is what I'm saying, you worthless baboon! I wonder why.

The muse for letters to the editor.

"Are you still waiting for that site to load?"

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'I told you not to kick the vending machine!'

"I put my best ideas on the internet and all I got was this print-on-demand shirt."

'Short-timer Syndrome' A cockatiel acts out on his last day at work.

Behind the 8 Ball

Desert Island Slob.