Comic Relief Chauffeur T-Shirts

"Al, stop honking at the car ahead to move faster! This is a funeral procession."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Critisize your weight.

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

"He's very persuasive ... "

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Chef De Party.

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."