Comic Performer T-Shirts

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

Take Me Seriously

Clown Car Lane: 10 or More

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"We only got six days of funding."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"You've changed."

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Fishing from the Pier

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'