Comic Moralist Mugs

Halo Theft

Ethics exam cheater.

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

"Turns out the love of money wasn't the root of all evil."

Religious toilets.

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

The Seven Deadly Sins: Envy, envy, envy, envy, envy, envy and envy.

Valuation of Heaven

Sunday Sermon: Let he who has not sinned cast the first blog.

'The church offering was really down this week, we received three I.O.U.'s.'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"I've never quite figured out how it works. For years, you're on the right side of history, and then one day, you're not!"

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

Adam and Eve and the coronavirus

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'Hear no evil. See no evil. Do no evil'

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

"Patrick Donovan! It was ten Hail Mary's I was sayin'...not bloody mary's!"

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

'Press one to speak to God, two to speak to another operator, and three to pass straight into heaven.'

'Sorry you can't come in. You're Boring.'

"At least I'm learning right from wrong."