Comedy Whaler T-Shirts

"And it's Moby Richard to you!"

Turtle Hat

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Did you find our menorah?

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

"I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you, Ahab!"

Moby Dick.

"Don't make eye contact..."

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

"If I meet one more person who thinks a whale is a fish!..."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

Close, but no cigar!

'Tough day at the office dear?!'

Small Clams Court

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

"Don't put me back! I'm trying to evolve legs here!"

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Ice Whaling

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

Capt. Ahab has Moby Dick mounted on wall.

Harbor VD Clinic: 'Bad news, Ahab, I'm afraid you have Moby Dick.'

'Face it Cap'n - the whale's given us the slip!'

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."