Comedy Performer Pillows

Comedy Rule

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Occu-Pie Mars

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

They're Not Just That Into It

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Trump pardons

'Your French dip, sir.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'The circle is complete!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

No-Work Orange