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"Dear HBO, I don’t really find it funny to hear the phrase ‘cat litter’ used for comedic purposes..."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"It's true: no more burpees."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

The First Fire Stick

The Pink Bantha

"Amateurs."

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Divine Desk Bins

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"He looks just like your husband."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Non Thought For The Day.

Shakespeare Quote

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'